Has the world stopped?
by ruby1792
Summary: Set In MR3. How did Fang and Max really feel when they split up? Was it like losing a wing? Or relief at being finally left to fly alone?
1. Why?

**Hey guys, the fact that you've clicked on this story makes me immensely happy already lol. Just to clarify, these are song fics based on when Max and Fang split up in MR3, they're my interpretation of what the two would have been feeling when they separated. Each chapter will either be in Max or Fang's POV. The songs are in italics separate from the main text. The italics in the text are just supposed to show the importance of them to each character. Any constructive criticism you have, feel free to give. Now, please REVIEW and more will come!**

Disclaimer: JP owns Maximum ride, last time I checked I wasn't him. I also do not own the song, which belongs to No Doubt.

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****x.  
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Max's POV:

I stood staring at you in front of me. Looking at every detail in your face, memorising them, in case you were actually going to follow through on what you'd just said to me. I was close to tears, they lay dangerously near the edge of my eyelids, threatening to fall and I willed them to stay put.

You didn't seem to be bothered about what was happening, as you stood there impassive, while my heart was breaking in front of you. I prayed for you to say you were joking, did you know that?

My breathing turned shallow as I focused all my energy into making sure I didn't crack in front of you. Focusing on making myself look as impassive as you were, putting on a front that I didn't care. Then you turned away without a second glance back at me, the girl you hated. _I couldn't believe this was happening. _

_You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always_

Memories flashed into my mind of the time we'd spent together. Our late night chats, our talks, the feel of your arms around my body, the kisses, the contact. _How would I live without them?_

At Anne's, the jealousy I felt towards Lissa and the jealousy, I hoped, you returned towards Sam.

How you was always there for me. Ready to catch me when I fell…. who would catch me now? The beach, where our lips had crashed together, and the desperation of me wanting to give you my life so you'd survive.

At the E-house, the day we learnt how to fly, you mastered it before me and I was struggling really hard. Trying to overcome my fear, you took my hand and I flew, with you, by my side.

Our first meeting at The School when your cage crashed down beside mine and we'd stretched out our fingers to touch. The bond was instant, unbreakable, _until now_.

_I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end_

The _one and only_ person I can call my best friend. My second-in-command, my rock. Always there, supporting me, protecting me, fighting for me, was leaving me. I was losing everything, tears slid uncontrollably down my face, and again and again I wiped them away with my fists, growing frustrated that I couldn't stem the flow. I turned punching the closest tree, feeling despair that the physical pain in my hand couldn't begin to match the emotional pain I was feeling.

_It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know_

The frustration ebbed away, being replaced by anger._ How could you leave someone who loved you so much?_ My heart squeezed painfully when I thought of you never flying beside me again. The boy who I grew up with, who understood me the most and vice versa, was going, and I didn't know if I'd see him again. I feel now that you not telling me would have been easier than watching you telling me without a trace of emotion in your eyes.

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

"I'm going my separate way." That's what you said; those 5 words meant more to me than they could possibly have done to you. Those 5 words told me you were leaving me, we were separating, there was no "we'll see each other soon", no "I didn't want it to be this way" and no "I love you". Those 5 solitary words killed me tonight, I don't know how I'll live without you. You didn't even have the courtesy to answer my five words: _"Why are you leaving me?"_

_Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

Do you realise what this will do to me?  
_Do you care?_

I saw nothing in your eyes tonight; they were dead, like me. I saw the way you walked away, nothing could have made you turn back and stop. All you wanted to do was to put space between us. _Do you know how much pain I am in?_ Would you come back if you knew? Would you not go? So many questions swimming around in my head with no one to answer them. I didn't need anyone to answer them for me. The look in your eyes had said it all, you were leaving and nothing would make you stop. _Especially not me._

_Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening_

I lay awake on the rooftop, staring at the stars, being bitten by the uninviting cold. Nothing could take my mind off of you. The cold seemed irrelevant, the roof slates digging in my back unnoticeable, all I could think of was_ you._

_As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry_

This is the end isn't it? How can I save the world now? Our friendship, our love has crumbled, and so will the world. You said once to me wild horses couldn't stop you being with me I replied with don't you mean erasers? We had laughed then. How comes you were letting Ari be the reason for leaving? You'd said you'd follow me to the ends of the earth. _Why aren't you?_

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

That night you kissed me. _Did you mean it?_ Or do I mean nothing to you? Now I feel like I'm being repeatedly tortured, I might as well be back in The School.

_It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?_

I wish now I had never laid eyes on you. The fact that you are leaving me over something so petty shows how highly you rate me. On the scale, I wouldn't even make it up to 0. I shuddered in the night air, tears falling down my face once more, feeling more alone than ever before. You won't let it end this way will you? I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing they were yours. _I can't believe this is happening._


	2. It doesn't have to be this way

**Well thanks to the 4 people who reviewed, not as many as I would have hoped but there you go, I'll live. Hope you guys like Fang's view on it! Please review!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters or the song.**

**x.**

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Fang's POV:

It's taking all my strength to say this to you. Do you realise how hard it is for me? I'm having to force each word through my mouth…I want to give you a reason, I want to tell you why, but I can't. You _know_ why anyway, I told you it would come to this and you ignored me. Thought I'd forget about it, didn't you? Well I can't, it means too much to me to forget about him being there. I really don't want to do this, but I have to; I can't stay with someone who almost killed me…who almost killed you. People like that don't change. They can't. He's a killer and it's ripping out my heart that you would choose him over me…. I want to be angry with you, but I can't; all I can feel is this aching pain at the pit of my heart, one that I don't think will ever leave.

_Once more just before I'm leaving  
Torn on the platform  
Once more just before I'm leaving  
Torn on the platform_

I don't _want_ to go, really, but you have to understand why I can't be around him. You can't just forget this easily what he's done to us, can you? Now, I'm leaving because of him, and you're not saying a word. You just stand there looking straight through me, is this not affecting you at all? 'Cause I'm not joking… I will leave, even if that means without you by my side because I _can't bear_ to be with you while having him next to you as well.

'_Cause Ill miss you and I love you  
I know this is over just for mow  
'Cause I miss you, ohh, how I miss you  
You're not my girl you're my town_

I can't look at you anymore; we've just spent two minutes in silence and if I stay any longer you'll see me cry. As I walk away I'm fighting the urge to run back and hug you, tell you I won't ever leave you but I'm having an internal struggle about whether going is good or not. Maximum, I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I _won't_ be able to stay with him without ripping out his throat. And that's the truth. It hurts me so much that you're _willing_ to lose me for him, and what's worse is neither of us will back down.

_A weekend away, leave the city today  
Don't want the big smoke to leave me behind  
The train leaves at 2, platform 3 Waterloo  
50 p to the tramp makes me feel kind_

I feel like my soul's splitting in two, half staying with you, half leaving you. Who's going to protect you now? It's not going to be that good for nothing _thing_ you're staying with, he won't be able to do it. _I know he won't_. Can't you just come with me? _Please._

_I get a good seat, with a table my feet  
Are up on the one in front everyone stares  
Why do they care, like there's feelings in chairs  
Trapped for 3 hours until I get there_

It's like I don't know you anymore, like we're two separate people who haven't shared anything before, when the truth is I've shared my life with you. You laughed at my idea at following the blog and I mocked you for following the Voice. It's _unreal_ how unlike we are, while being exactly alike at the same time. I _hate_ how you make me feel so small compared to you, I _hate_ how you take the piss out of the blog, I _hate_ how you're sticking with him… but I just can't force myself to hate you. I'm going to miss you so much, but I still feel like you're making me do this…is it that _hard_ to choose me, the boy who you grew up with, the boy who loves you, over him?

'_Cause my  
Eyes, eyes, eyes  
Are not  
Dry, dry, dry  
As I  
Realise, ise, ise  
That in a few minutes this train will be gone  
Sighs, sighs, sighs  
City  
Fly's, fly's, fly's  
Wonder  
Why, why, why  
Would anyone want to leave where I come from?_

Tears that I've held back for years are flooding my face; it's all down to you. I'm praying to someone _who I don't even believe in_ to bring you back to me. For you to say that you'll tell him to leave 'cause you wouldn't be able to live without me. But that's not the truth, is it? You can cope without me, no matter how much I resent it.

_Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform_

Should I stay? Or should I go? I need someone to give me the answer, and usually it would be you… but I can't turn to you now. I feel like this brick wall has come down between us and I'm fighting it with all my strength to pull it down but as soon as I knock a brick out, _you replace it._ Am I becoming a part of your past? One you want to erase? After all my efforts you just bat me away as though I never existed, is it going to be like that? Are you going to forget me? I told you I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth, Max, and I meant it, but how am I supposed to do that when you're with him? _I can't_ and if that means I lied to you, that I failed you, I might as well give up now.

_It's 1.58 wish that I had been late  
And missed the train and given them an excuse  
But what is the use, I've less slack than a noose  
Do or die stay or go what shall I choose_

I feel like something's crushing my organs, my throat closing up and my legs betraying me so I fall to the ground. Is this how I'm going to feel from now on, without you beside me? I'm finding it hard to breathe and my body's shaking now, not from the cold, but from fear, anger, and sadness. The emotional wall I've built up to keep me strong is slowly cracking down, and this time it's you who's pulling out the brick while I try to put them back in.

'_Cause my  
Eyes, eyes, eyes  
Are not  
Dry, dry, dry  
As I  
Realise, ise, ise  
That in a few minutes this train will be gone  
Sighs, sighs, sighs  
City  
Fly's, fly's, fly's  
Wonder  
Why, why, why  
Would anyone want to leave where I come from?_

I must be mad choosing to leave you: my life. I'm going to be alone in the world now… I can only hope it'll be me who the flyboys come after and not you; the flock should stay safe. You must have realised all I want is for you to be safe? That's why I want _him_ gone; I can't even say his name. To me he's _nothing_, but it seems it's me who is that to you. The thought sends yet more rivers down my face now matter how hard I try to control them, I think I could be sick.

_Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform_

Flying. That's what I should do, but it only gives me comfort when I'm flying with you. My wings brushing down on yours ever so slightly, that isn't a mistake, I'm _not_ flying too close accidentally. The truth is I love it when I'm near you 'cause you bring the happiness to my life, and soon there'll be a void where it once was, never to return.

_Like in a film the motion starts to slow  
As the beeping carriage doors begin to close  
Momentarily I'm standing froze  
Then I jump between the gap  
Land on the platform flat_

Time seems to have stopped since I sealed my fate: "I'm going my separate way." I'll never see your face again; when I wake up your radiant smile won't help me face the day, when we fly your grace won't uplift my spirits and at night I won't have anyone to talk to or to watch sleep. 'Cause you won't be there. _If only you wanted me._

_I'm not_

_Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform  
Torn on the platform_

I have to do this Maximum, I'm sorry. So now I'll set my jaw, wipe away my tears and pretend that I couldn't care less, _just like you_. I'll tell the flock and watch them look at me with disgust and I won't say goodbye to you, because I won't be able to face it. Those words that I need to tell you, that you need to hear, will remain unspoken…but still, you should know Maximum even after all this, _I love you._

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**Right, do you reckon you could take me up to _at least_ 10? I might not continue this fic, hasn't had much interest but _your_ review may make all that difference.**


	3. This is the end then?

**Thanks for the reviews guys, you excelled yourself and they really mean a lot to me. Which is why I decided to continue this, hoping to make it really good for you. I'm sorry I haven't update for _ages_ but I've been on holiday in Zakynthos with no Internet and the like so I wasn't physically able to haha. I hope this chapter makes up for it : Keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: The characters and some of the dialogue are not mine. They belong to JP. Also the song 'In the end' belongs to Linkin Park. The idea is mine, however.**

**x.**

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**Fang's POV**

You didn't even look at me this morning; your eyes were averted to the floor, the window, the wall, everywhere else but me. I'm leaving today and you're not even going to look at me? Don't I deserve a goodbye? I understand you're angry, well here's news for you: I'm angry too. But that doesn't stop me caring about you.

_It starts with one thing  
__I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time all I know  
_

The flock and him are watching the two of us now. We're staring forward motionless except you're fiddling with your hands. You're leaving this up to me, aren't you? You're going to make me say it and make me out to be the bad guy, aren't you? Fine. Let's not drag it out considering you can't face looking at me.

"I've decided to go my own way," I said, casting a glance to Ari. "Almost anyone's welcome to come with me."

I felt eyes boring into me, penetrating my skin, unavoidable stares. Their faces said it all: this was unbelievable. Then you said words that made me think for the first time in my life you were selfish.

"I think we should all stick together until Fang comes back." Do you really want me to be alone? Do you hate me that much?

_Time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away  
It's so unreal  
Didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on but didn't even know  
Wasted it all just to watch you go  
_

It was painful watching them decide. No matter how angry I was with you, it still hurt me watching your face when people chose me over you.

I'll go with Fang." Iggy stated blandly, I nodded weakly at him; I'd expected it. Max's face looked like someone had ripped out her heart, making the reality of the situation sink in. This could be the end of us.

"I'm going to stay with Max." Nudge had said, the emotion showing in her voice. She looked longingly at me and I wanted to tell her it was fine. I expected the little guys to go with her.

An agonising silence passed as the siblings chose their path. They were both thinking hard to one another.

"I'm going with Max." Angel had said decidedly.

"I'm going with Fang." Gazzy countered. I did a double-take. Me? I had expected him to stay with Angel, to stay with Max. I'd never imagine he'd want to be with me. Maybe Iggy had swayed it for him. So it was decided, the boys were leaving. I didn't even want to stay to hear Ari speak but he did. I slung on my backpack, ignoring his words. This is really going to happen isn't it? You're not changing your mind now are you?

_I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter_

"Fine," I said breaking the silence.

"Fine." Your replied, your face set. I thought I saw some pain in your eyes when you looked at me, but then it was gone. I must have imagined it. You tilted your chin up and I took it as signal to leave.

"I guess we should go then guys." I suggested, keeping my voice controlled so not to let out any pain. Iggy and Gazzy moved forward to your group. Nudge's chest racked with sobs and Angel's face was covered in silent tears. I stood where I was, I knew you didn't want me anywhere near you and I respected it. Iggy picked Angel up hugging her and saying everything would be fine. I watched as Nudge hugged Gazzy goodbye and I felt pieces of my heart splitting. Iggy moved to Nudge and she clung to him for dear life. Not wanting to let him go. I couldn't bring myself to watch Angel and Gaz, so I looked at the fireplace. Then you bent down to the Gasman and ruffled his hair saying you'd see him soon. I wasn't so sure; you pulled him close and although your composure remained intact I saw you breaking apart inside. You let him go to reach for Iggy, and the two of you hugged harder than I thought was possible. You let him go to stand back up straight and then you stared right through me.

_One thing I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme  
To remind myself how I tried so hard  
_

I wanted to hug you so much; I wanted you to tell me to stay more than anything. I wanted you to tell that dick to leave with my whole heart. I wanted to tell you I loved you more than anything in the Universe. But I held it down. I wasn't going to tell you something you'd loathe to hear.

_In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so far  
_

I felt two small bodies crash into my legs. It was only then that I realised I hadn't said goodbye to the girls. I smiled weakly at them and bent down, feeling your eyes on me all the way. I did my best to be comforting and overcome the urge to become a statue. I pulled them towards me Nudge's head on my right shoulder, Angel's on my right their arms reaching around my back. I stroked their hair as I assured them they'd be fine and to be strong. Silently I told Angel to keep an eye on Max, look after her for me. Through tear filled eyes she nodded at me, surprising me by placing a kiss on my cheek. My brow furrowed as I realised how much I'd miss them. But I wasn't going to back down; it was up to you to do that.

_Things aren't the way they were before _

_You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then  
But it all comes back to me in the end  
_

Looking at Ig and Gazzy I realised I was responsible for their lives now, I had to take charge of them, keep them safe, keep them happy, keep them alive. A sudden weight seemed to press on my shoulders and I empathised with you for having to live with such a burden all your life. I never realised how much you had to contend with. It's still not too late…. I won't go if you make the right choice.

_You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
_

So this is it? The end? Your face shows nothing; even I can't conceal my emotions that well at a time like this… can I? Am I the mirror image of you right now? Are we both looking at each other without a trace of love, a trace of pain? We're both as stubborn as each other, not wanting to look the weaker, like it's affecting us more than the other. I just want you to know that I do love you. I won't get the chance to tell you that though.

_I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go  
For all this, there's only one thing you should know  
I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go  
For all this, there's only one thing you should know  
I tried so hard and got so far  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter_

"Okay guys." I broke the silence. They turned to me, putting their brave faces on, they too shrugged on their backpacks and we walked to the door. I felt them turn and wave and couldn't bring myself to turn and face you. I couldn't face Angel's tear ridden face, I couldn't face looking at Nudge, hearing her sobs was worse enough and I couldn't face you. I couldn't face your blank stare, I couldn't face you looking through me as though I couldn't exist, I couldn't face seeing your beautiful image for the last time. I couldn't bring myself to do it. As I stepped out of the cabin I felt my soul tear in two, I'd never felt so much pain in my life.

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**I don't really have a target at the moment, I obviously want 20, 25 would be awesome even more would make me so happy I can't even describe it haha. So go for it, tell me what you think! x. **


	4. This isn't real

**Okay, this chapter would have been up a lot sooner, but a catastrophe occurred… All of my fan fics were stored on my USB stick alone, stupid now I think of it, but whatever. All the chapters I'd written as well as the ones I hadn't were stored on there. Then the day I was going to upload this chapter I put in the stick and every single document with my fan fics were gone and those alone. I don't know **_**how**_** if it was a freak accident or **_**why**_** if someone did it on purpose. If I find out they did, I will personally slaughter them. For this fan fic alone there were, like, the next 5 chapters already written. Now I'll have to write them again as well as the chapters for my other fan fics. So I apologise now for the delay there'll be. I'll work my hardest to re-write them; hopefully they'll be as good as the originals…**

**Anyway, on with the story. Thank you for the 23 reviews, it means a lot the feedback you give, whether one word or more, the fact that you took the time is great. Oh yeah, sorry for the long author's note, I just had to explain. So read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I am not James Patterson, nor do I own the characters and parts of this are taken from the Maximum Ride book to link up.**

x.  
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The pain…the anger that I felt yesterday hasn't left me. I can't begin to imagine how you can leave me…I _couldn't_ leave _you_ through _choice_. When you walked into the cabin this morning I knew it was set in stone, you were leaving and I couldn't do anything about it. I may not see you again… that's why I couldn't meet you eyes. I couldn't bear to think it would be the last time I looked at your face, into your eyes. Maybe if I didn't look at you, I could pretend this wasn't happening. It didn't work, but it made it fractionally easier.

_Why you being a dickhead for?  
Stop being a dickhead  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations_

I walked forward to meet you in front of the fireplace, never meeting your gaze as I felt your eyes boring into me. The kids were looking expectantly up at us, if only they knew. I just couldn't comprehend what was happening. I went over a hundred conversations in my reeling head. What would they say? How could we explain this? How could we explain this when even I don't understand why you can't just stay with me?

_Why you being a dickhead for?  
Stop being a dickhead  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations_

"I've decided to go on my own way," You told the flock abruptly, casting a glance at Ari and then continuing, "Almost anyone's welcome to come with me."  
My heart caught in my throat. Go with him! I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear losing any more of them. I'd brought them up, watched them grow up, how could I cope without them? I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"I think we should all stick together until Fang comes back." I stated smoothly, my voice even. Please stay with me. I'll need you all to help me live without Fang.

_Shiny floor, slippery feet  
Lights are dim, my eyes can't meet  
The reflection that turns my images  
Upside down so I can't see_

I tried to blank out their protests; it was too hard to listen to them voicing my thoughts aloud. I shrugged, my face flaming; it was your choice. You were the one doing this.

Gazzy's squeaky voice caught me attention, "We have to choose?" I watched the torment on his face as he looked at you, then to me, then to Ari. Crap.  
I'm going to lose them all, just because I couldn't throw someone who needed me out. I was going to lose them all because of you. Is it possible to wish you'd leave immediately while wanting you to stay with me forever at the same time? That's what I'm feeling.

_Think you know everything  
You really don't know nothing  
I wish that you were more intelligent  
So you could see that what you are doing is  
So shitty, to me_

It was painful listening to them decide, the penetrating silence.

Within moments Iggy had stated blandly "I'll go with Fang." I felt my body ready to rack with sobs but I fought them back. His face was expressionless but his voice had said it all. My heart squeezed painfully at his words, my eyes widening. For the first time I was glad he was blind, I was glad he couldn't see my face, my shell-shocked expression.

"I'm going to stay with Max." Nudge had said, her voice cracking. I squeezed her hand, which had found its way into mine, but I saw how she looked at Ari out of the corners of her eyes. She, too, didn't trust him, didn't want him with us. Her eyes flickered to you, looking longingly at you, was she channelling my emotions?

_Thirty five,  
People couldn't count,  
On two hands the amount of times you made me stop,  
Stop and think why are you being such a dickhead for?_

Angel must have been communicating with the Gasman telepathically because he shook his head and looked like he was concentrating hard. I swallowed hard, please come with me.  
"I'm going with Max." Angel had said decidedly. I almost let out a sigh of relief, had I not wanted to show that this whole situation wasn't bothering me just like you were. My baby was coming with me, and Gazzy would almost certainly follow her. My heart swelled, I would only be losing two of my boys.  
"I'm going with Fang." Gazzy countered. What?! I felt myself staring at him in astonishment. I fought back the tears once more as I clenched my teeth. I hadn't expected that. You began shrugging your backpack on your shoulders and it dawned on me that I would never fly with you again. Strange that something so trivial almost brought me to my knees, begging you to stay. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I gave in.

_Stop being a dickhead,  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations,  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
Stop being a dickhead,  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations_

"Fine," You said breaking the deathly silence that had fallen on all of us as we struggled to come to terms with what was happening. Your voice sounded so normal as if this was an every day occurrence. What's wrong with you?

"Fine." I replied, tilting my chin up, wishing with all my strength that you wouldn't do this, and making darn sure you couldn't tell I was wishing it. I wasn't sure if I managed it because I thought I saw some concern in your eyes when you looked at me, but then it was gone.

_Stop, don't show, just have a think before you...  
Will you, stop, now don't show, just have a think before you...  
Will you stop, no don't show, just have a think before you...  
And, stop, don't show, just have a think before you..._

"I guess we should go then guys." You said evenly. I almost smiled; you were going to make a great leader. I couldn't believe I was going to miss seeing you accomplish it. Iggy and Gazzy moved forward to us, you staying put. I hardly noticed Nudge's sobs and Angel's waterfall of tears as fear racked through me; you're not going to say goodbye, are you? You're going to leave without giving me a last hug, aren't you? I forced myself to not look at you, I couldn't bear the agony. Iggy picked Angel up hugging her and saying everything would be fine. I watched as Nudge hugged Gazzy goodbye and I found it hard to contend with the thought that it was you and I who were causing this grief. Iggy moved to Nudge and she super glued herself to him, refusing to let go. Angel and Gazzy cried together at me separated and I felt my heart crack again. How many times was it capable of breaking? I bent down to the Gasman, ruffling his hair and lying blatantly that we'd see him soon. I, myself, couldn't handle the truth. Iggy held me for longer than I expected, forgetting his cool-guy-too-old-for-hugs image. When we finally let go I looked at you and returned the blank gaze I found. The hope draining out of me.

_'Cause my brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore  
My brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore  
My brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore  
My brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore, so_

I prayed for you to say this was some kind of sick joke you and all the kids were in on. It would have been better than the reality of this situation. Trust me. But you aren't going to anymore, are you? You wouldn't believe me when I said Ari had changed, you wouldn't believe me when I said I knew what I was doing. You won't need to believe me anymore; you're leaving. Which leaves me questioning why I'm worrying about it. I didn't need to question it, I didn't want you to leave, and I want you to believe me. I want you to be in a situation where you have to trust me, which would mean you being with me. That's all I want.

_Why you being a dickhead for?  
Stop being a dickhead  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations_

I felt my lifelines leaving me sides, aiming for you. They weren't letting you go without saying goodbye, why do I have to? I expected you to be awkward with Angel and Nudge, to turn into the unbending statue you become in personal situations. But you didn't. You dropped to their level, holding them close, stroking their hair while they clung to you in an embrace. Would you be the same if I went to hug you, or do you hate me too much to be close to me? I squeezed my eyes tight, willing all my muscles in my body to stay put. When I opened them I watched you let them go and I wanted nothing more to replace them. I watched as Angel placed a kiss on you cheek and I watched as a rush of emotion swarmed your face. I wanted it to be me that brought that emotion to you, but it isn't going to happen, is it?

_Why you being a dickhead for?  
Stop being a dickhead  
Why you being a dickhead for?  
You're just fucking up situations_

Why do you have to be so stubborn? Can't you just say goodbye to me? I ignored the part of me telling me I should be the one to pluck up the courage, which left us at a stalemate. Neither of us would do it.  
"Okay, guys." And my boys, including you, turned towards the door. Steadily you opened it, inviting in a cold breeze that chilled my bones. Ig and Gazzy turned to wave at us and I managed a small smile as I realised that all morning I'd wasted time not looking at you. 'Cause you're not going to turn around are you? While this morning I should have been studying every inch of your face so I could remember it forever, I was wasting it looking at my shoes pretending this wasn't real. I felt so angry with myself. Why couldn't we have said goodbye to each other…I needed to tell you I love you.

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**Little challenge? Can you get me up to 30? I will be immensely happy (Y) x.**


	5. I'm sorry

**I'm sorry this has taken so long to get up. I've been kind of neglecting my fan fics and I'm sorry about that. I've just been real busy. Anyways onwards and upwards hopefully :) I decided to take DigiNinMon and the anonymous review by finiiiii's advice about different points of view on Max and Fang, so this is Ari's. Next will be an Iggy POV but then we shall return to Max and Fang. I hope you like it. Dudes, the 5 reviews on the last chapter was a little disappointing because I know you can do better! Can you this time?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song, which I edited a lot to fit with this, or the characters. I own the idea!**

**x.**

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Ari's POV:

I feel bad. I feel bad because I know this is my fault. If I hadn't been so happy when you beckoned me to come join you guys, I would've thought about it properly and decided not to come. I mean, deep down, I know what I've done to you is bad but I couldn't help it. I had to follow my orders. But, I didn't know some of you hated me this bad, I didn't know Fang was willing to lose everything to get away from me. If this weren't what I'd wanted for so long, to be with you, to be a part of the flock, I'd leave... I guess I'm too selfish to put everything right.

_As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility  
__And I realize that everything I do is affecting the people around me  
__So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that  
__I've done things that haven't occurred yet  
__and things that they don't want to take responsibility for_

You've got to understand though; this is everything I've ever wanted. To be a part of the flock, however much I stand out, to be near you. To be accepted by you. Is it wrong I'm sort of happy Fang's left, so I can have you to myself? I know it is, because it makes me feel so bad that you need him. You need him more than you'll ever need me.

_I understand that there's some problems  
__And I'm not too blind to know  
__All the pain you kept inside you  
__Even though you might not show_

We know you're hurting… we're not blind. Even the girls know, have you forgotten that Angel can read minds? She sometimes starts crying because what you're thinking upsets her so much. We hear you crying at night however hard you try to keep it quiet. We see you looking at the empty space next to you in the air. We know. Even when I fly next to you it's not the same. I hate the fact that I'll never be what you need.

_If I can't apologize for being wrong  
__Then it's just a shame on me  
__I'll be the reason for your pain  
__And you can put the blame on me_

You shouldn't feel like it's your fault he left...because it isn't. It's mine. I'm ready, I'm willing to be hated because I split up the flock. That doesn't matter to me, what matters is that I was accepted by you. It's hard knowing how much pain I've caused but still not wanting to leave. I have to watch my idol crumbling in front of me. How can one person mean so much to another? It's insane.

_You can put the blame on me  
__You can put the blame on me  
__You can put the blame on me  
__You can put the blame on me_

I promised I'd look after you, but you didn't want to hear it. Fang was your protector. You are the hero, and if the hero is supposed to save everyone, who's left to save the hero? Fang is. But not anymore. It hurts me you don't seem to hate him for leaving you, it's that deep, isn't it?

_I'm sorry for the things that he put you through  
__And all the times you didn't know what to do  
__I'm sorry that you had to go and sell those bags  
__Just trying to stay busy until you heard from dad_

I'm kind of pissed of with him. How could he do this to you? If he loved you as much as you do him, how can he live knowing that he chose to leave you? How can he hurt you like this? Is that his way of showing how he loves you? It doesn't seem like love to me. I would never hurt you like this, I couldn't.

_He got up and left you there all alone  
__I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own  
__I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief  
__And you can put that blame on me  
__And you can put that blame on me  
__You can put that blame on me  
__You can put that blame on me_

Everyone knows now. There may have been signs before, but now it's set in stone. You and Fang were made for each other; you can't live without each other. Yet I'm the one who's making you. I wish with everything I've got that I could replace him. I would take this pain from you if I could, but I can't. You love Fang. And you will until the end. I'm sorry.

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**Come on you can get me to or very near 40, can't you?! Cookies for everyone :D x.**


	6. Everybody's changing

**Okay guys, I can tell you may have you pitchforks ready to kill me with lol but hold on one second. My school is being very tight with hwk, millions per week, hundreds of essays and coursework. Not fun times. So anyways, I'm not sure when I will actually get to update this story or even my other ones again….It could be a while….I know this isn't the best chapter either, but I thought I'd clue you in on Iggy's POV. I hope you like it, and I apologise for my bad behaviour considering updates. **

**------------------**

Iggy's POV:

You know it's stupid to think that at the time I actually thought this might do you good. Being away from the girls, all boys' kind of thing. Boy, was I wrong. I never knew it would affect you this much. I mean, you said you thought you liked her, but this, this is something else. I never knew she meant this much to you and it's breaking me apart to sense you crumbling in front of me. I came with you because I knew you'd need someone, no matter how strong you may be you couldn't be alone. I didn't know that person had to be Max.

_You say you wander your own land  
But when I think about it  
I don't see how you can  
You're aching, you're breaking  
And I can see the pain in your eyes  
Says everybody's changing  
And I don't know why  
_

I've been doing my best to help you…but I can't seem to figure out how. On Venice beach, I tried to make you forget about Max for a while and look at the other women available, but it took you ten whole minutes to even get you to look at them. And when I did I heard that same tone you adopted since she left. The lifeless, monotonous tone that I've grown so accustomed to. I heard the falters in your description, I sensed your pain, and I knew exactly what you were doing. You were sizing them all up against Max, weren't you? She won every time, didn't she?

_  
So little time_  
_Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing  
And I don't feel the same_

Do you reckon it's the same for the girls? Are they going through the same as us? Everything's different now; you and Gazzy have changed so much. The Gasman…he's being braver than I could have ever imagined. He's trying so hard to be tough, so hard not to be a burden to you, I don't know if Max would even recognise him anymore. And you… you're a completely different person to who I knew before. We used to talk… now we hardly share two words. I'm glad I can't see sometimes so I don't have to look at the depressed person I hear. I never knew how much of an impact one person could have on another. How much of an impact Max had on you.

_You're gone from here  
And soon you will disappear  
Fading into beautiful light  
Cause everybody's changing  
And I don't feel right  
_

I understand why you chose to leave. Believe me I do, and I would have done the same. How strange is it that one person's decision and another one's mistake made our lives turn upside down? She'll realise she was in the wrong and you can't beat yourself up over it because it's not good for you. Not sleeping won't bring her back, thinking about her constantly won't bring her back, and watching every blonde girl that goes past us _won't_ bring her back.

_So little time  
Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing  
And I don't feel the same  
_

Do you know how hard it is for me to hear you long to be with her. While your face may mask your desire, your voice doesn't and The Gasman knows it too. Why do you try and bottle it all up? We need to talk about it because I'm missing them too. I never realised how much Max did for me before, it's only now she's gone that I know. She used to move things closer to me without me knowing, didn't she? Just so I could find them more easily. Without her I feel exactly like I did when I first found out I was blind. Completely and utterly lost all the time. I never realised that she was everything to you, she brought the sunshine to your life and without her you're an empty shell.

_So little time  
Try to understand that I'm  
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game  
I try to stay awake and remember my name  
But everybody's changing  
And I don't feel the same_

We're all missing them…but you beat us all. How tragic that you left your one true love because of one man, one boy… one animal.

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**Let me know what you think then? I know it wasn't brilliant and everything but I just want to know lol, you'd brighten up my day :) x.**


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